yeah, right.

So here's an ad for Dolce and Gabana with Madonna washing dishes. Sure. 

what a job

My job is fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

Movie Review: Up

Wow. What can I say? Up has got to be my favorite my favorite movie of 2009.

I don't know how Pixar does it, but they pulled it off. they made another movie that's visually stunning and emotionally moving at the same time. When studios produce big-budget flicks with fantastic effects, they tend to forego the story, thinking the audience, who in their books must be composed of complete morons, will be so distracted by all the colors and glitz and awesomeness that we'll forgive them for one -dimensional characters and cliched stories.

But not Pixar.

Up is oviously marketed towards kids. But it knows perfectly well that kids do not equal idiots, thus it delivers a story that's smart and witty. The audience, made up mostly of kids, is made to deal with loss, death and sadness. In the first 10 minutes of the movie, we see how happy Ellie and Carl are (his sequence barely has any dialogue, which goes to show the strength of this movie's visuals that it manages to move the audience to feel Carl's pain later on). They meet, they fall in love, they dream together. Then Ellie dies and Carl is 78 years old. He is alone and he is being thrown out of his house.

Carl no longer smiles. He is bitter. He longs for his dead wife.

So he attaches a gazillion balloons to his house and flies off to South America to fulfill's Ellie's dreams. By doing so, he hopes to be closer to her. Then he realizes that he's taken Russel , the fat boy scout, by mistake and mayhem ensues. This story looks ridiculous on paper. For the rest of the movie, Carl has his house attached to his arms with a string as it floats up in the air. Then there are the talking dogs, a giant bird.

But on-screen, it all comes together. It all makes perfect sense. And in the end, we have a better understanding of how death isn't necessarily the end, how adventures come in many different forms, how friendships come from the most unexpected places and situation.

I give Up an A, no doubt.

Adventures in Music Part 1

For as long as I can remember, I have always been a fan of church and choir music, especially come Christmas time when the songs they play during Simbang Gabi masses that speak of hope and joy never fail to lift my spirits.

This December, I've been very lucky to have been able to sit through amazing and free (yay!) concerts. One was the Take and Receive: Ateneo Sesquicentennial (whew, what a mouthful!) Festival of Music and second is the launching of Bukas Palad's newest album, To Love and to Serve. Both concerts were held at the Church of the Gesu inside Ateneo de Manila.

Take are received featured various Ateneo singing groups. The even was hosted by Tina Revilla-Valencia. The lights around Bellarmine filled were all lit up signalling the beginning of Christmas inside the campus.

This is just perfect for barkada picnics, dates and marriage proposals!

The set inside the Church was beautifully done. The screen in the middle of the altar showed inspiring picture made to accompany the even more moving music.

The lights were also great, albeit a little distracting. I think I spent a lot of time whispering to my seatmate, "Look spirals! Christmas balls! ooohh stars!" hehe.

First to perform was the Ateneo Boys Choir from the Ateneo Grade School. The kids were so adorable. There's just something about little singing boys that can move the toughest of people to tears. They look so innocent, so harmless. Of course, parents would know better.

The highlight of their 3-song setlist is Ryan Cayabyab's Kay Gandang Alay.

They were followed by the Ateneo High School Glee club. They also performed a song by Mr. Cayabyab, Prayer of St. Francis. But my favorite from their set will have to be Sana Ngayong Pasko. I love that song, it's been my LSS (Last Song Syndrome) for quite some time now. Sana ngayong Pasko ay maalala mo pa rin ako. Hinahanap-hanap pag-ibig mo. At kahit wala ka na, nangangarap at umaasa pa rin ako makapiling ka, makasama ka sa araw ng Pasko.

Blue Symphony came next, performing a melody of traditional Christmas songs which included

Pianist, Jonathan Coo and Flutist, Ray Sison then played theire versions of What Child is This? and Jingle Bells.

The ever professional and almost-perfect Ateneo College Glee Club then sang their set. My favorite from their performance, hands down would have to be "Elijah Rock". It's funny and amazing at the same time. It feels like a song from the Lion King with its thunderous cadence. Ask me to sing it sometime, I give a killer rendition. hehe.

My favorite for the night would have to be Ateneo Chamber Singers. What I like about the group is that they're just as talented as the Glee Club, except that they're no longer as pressured to win or be perfect. Thus they seem to be having more fun and comfortable on stage, which makes it fun for the audience to watch them as well. They sang Warrior is A Child and Shine

The finale had all the performers singing and playing Sa Ating Paglipad-Ito ang Diwa ng Ateneo the theme for Ateneo's Sesquicentennial celebration. I didn't care much for the song, truth be told. What I do enjoyed about that presentation is seeing Fr. Ben Nebres sing along with the other school heads.

I'm such a Fr. Ben fan. I just want to adopt him as my grandfather, a wise old man who would be guiding me through my life. I always try to have my picture taken with him. But for some reason, he never remembers me. That night was no exception. Together with Sabs, whose a friend of Fr.'s I asked for a picture with him. He got it all wrong, and posed for a picture with me and the rest of the group. In my head I was thinking, I don't pictuers with any of these people. I only want a picture with you Fr.

After the shot, I was about to ask to have his picture taken with just me, then he said "Great, take my picture with Sabs." Aaaargh.

Oh well, I'm just gonna crop the rest of the group out from our picture.

Then we reached for the stars!

Part 2 to follow.

Minoring in Rica Bolipata

I remember my first few days of college. I was so promdi, so frightened. I was the only one from Don Bosco Tarlac who got in to my university. I knew no one. Then my first class came and I was expecting the most terrible teacher - obnoxious, boring, demanding. Thankfully the first teacher of my entire college life arrived and she was none of those things. She was brilliant, of course, but she was also funny, caring and candid. She ended the class with " Be good, be safe, safe sex!" How cool is that?

She was Ms. Rica Bolipata Santos. Who'd have known that she was going to be my teacher for 18 units (6 subjects). It's like I minored in Ms. Santos. And who would have thought that ten years from that first day of college class that we would be good friends. She has filled up all my recommendation forms for all my applications for grad school, JVP, work etc. She has always been a source of comfort, joy and senseless talks about nothing.

She has been there when my love life went crazy, she has always been there when I couldn't figure life out. She has taught me so much more than writing , she has taught me to face life's darkness with as much light as one can possibly give out through one's undying wit and immeasurable love. Although I think, she'd agree with me, that she's still trying to master this one.

Today she is the author of 2 books of essays. Her first book, "Love, Desire, Children (Reflections of a Young Wife" won the 7th Madrigal-Gonzales first book award. She also sings for Bukas Palad and is a dedicated mother and wife. She still teaches English and is currently finishing her Ph. D. in Creative Writing at the University of the Philippines Diliman.

But still, she finds time to have breakfast with us. Yay.

Last December 8, together with Ana and Con(who were celebrating their birthday along with Mary's Immaculate Conception) we had breakfast and talked about everything we could in the space of 1 hour.

With me and my stupid smirk.

She will always be one of the best people to have come my way. I don't know how I could have survived life this far without her wisdom. Someday, when I become a teacher, I want to be like her - she just fills any classroom with sighs, laughter and awe.

Just to give you a glimpse of how talented and wonderful she is, here's a sample of her work:

I, DO, STILL
by Rica Bolipata-Santos

I wake up and sense that the morning is still. Outside our bedroom window, nothing moves. Today is my ninth wedding anniversary. It feels very much like an in-between year. It is not the seventh, which saw us surviving the seven-year itch. And neither is it the tenth, the milestone of the first decade shared together.

I turn to my husband beside me. We sleep every night with our backs to each other. This is not something I worry about. Sleep is one of the reasons I believe in God. It is an ingenious invention. I don't like being disturbed so I don't like being held. After sex, I anticipate being taken by sleep, a different kind of orgasm.

I kiss his warm cheek and he smells like soap. He has faint stubble. He turns to me, opens his eyes and his arms and welcomes me in.

"Happy anniversary, dear," he says.

"Happy. Happy." I reply.

"Are the kids up yet?"

"Probably, it's already seven," I say, winding my legs around his. "The boys should be having breakfast by now. Mang Felix is taking them to school today."

"And you? What's your schedule?" he asks me.

"Just have class until four. I'll meet you for dinner at Shangri-La."

He kisses me on my temple, my eyes, my lips, and my necks, unwinds our legs and starts to go. "I should go to work soon so I can meet you early."

As I hear him prepare his morning ablutions, I am amazed at how the dynamics of our marriage have changed. Our anniversries have always been one-sided battlefields where I practiced psychological games and guerrilla tactics. Wars from past anniversaries would commence with me whining and demanding. I would plead and plead for him to take the day of, to go shopping, to cuddle all day. When I don't get what I want, I take out my secret weapon and launch a tantrum. I make a mental list of the trantrums I've had for each anniversary.

Year 1 - Tagaytay - Tantrum because he had an asthma attack and we couldn't have sex.

Year 2 - Shangri-La overnight - Tantrum because we couldn't afford to stay an extra night.

Year 3 - Home - Tantrum because we couldn't afford anything.

Year 4 - Manila Hotel dinner - Tantrum because I wanted to go home to breastfeed.

Year 5 - Via Mare - Tantrum because he was 30 minutes late.

Year 6 - Ilustrado - Tantrum because he had no love letter.

Year 7 - Philippine Plaza - Tantrum because I was pregnant.

Year 8 - Bangkok - Tantrum because he had a business meeting in the middle of our trip.

I accept with quiet grace that the need for romance was the culprit for all these tantrums.

I hear him in the bathroom and begin to identify sounds and patterns. Heavy shuffling on the floor means he's collecting water in the basin for heating. Clicking sounds signify flossing has commenced. Ragged coughing means he had a small asthma attack the night before (continuous coughing with chest thumping, however, would mean antibiotics at the end of the week). The water running at a steady pace tells me there is no rush. He can afford to take his time. He is certain to open the closet door three times (I sing to myself, one for the outfit, two for the socks, three for the tie and four to go, let's rock!). Tsk-tsking is a sign that there are no fresh hankies in supply.

He comes out of the bathroom and asks me what I'm thinking. I tell him the truth with a smile: "Nothing," He smiles back warmly and kisses me goodbye, "Enjoy the day. Don't be too hard on your freshmen! I'll see you tonight." He finally knows what "nothing" truly means. Now that romance has run out of fresh ideas, marriage has become a place of profound acceptance.

I hear the car back out of the garage. I remember how he used to speed away in anger at the end of a date gone awry. There is a certain stupidity to the equation of love plus youth. Threatening to walk away and driving away and speeding away and banging doors add to the drama and intensity of love. I am certain from where I am lying down that he is backing away calmly, careful that there are no children crossing our busy street. Becoming a father has taught him this.

And yet, I yearn for the roar of our younger years. I still want to be surprised by love sometimes. The steady rhythm of our days is filled with a love so quiet it is easy to miss. I know I am being foolish. His back turned to me at night completes my sleep. My quiet husband has taught me stillness.

My thoughts fly to the week before we were married. The thought comes to me quickly and without prodding. It is early evening and I am sitting in my mother's terrace in a blue skirt and a white blouse. This is my favorite skirt as it has tassels with small gold balls. It is silk as well, so it makes me feel very grown-up. In the garden, my fiance is with my nephew. He is identifying an airplane in he sky, something he can do even at night. He is an airline employee and knows flight schedules and patterns by heart. My family is amazed at his knowledge of airplanes. Then and there, I make a fool's bargain. I will not marry him until I see a falling star. He turns to look at me, and I am slightly heady with this sudden decision of mine.

"Rica, come here!" he says.

"Hurry, I have something to show you." I am not at all thrilled by the prospect of seeing Lufthansa Flight 745 on its way to Germany. My imagination is busy conjuring scenarious of betrayal. Phrasing lines, "Ma, I have to cancel the wedding." "It wasn't in the stars."

He lifts his arm towards me pleadingly, and I am not at all gracious when I finally stand. I walk to him slowly, enjoying the secret that I have the last card - that I can still walk away. He smiles at me indulgently and puts his arms around me. He lifts my chin to the sky and says, "The night is filled with falling stars." I see three that night.

I am hungry for such a moment. I do not know what is more grown up -- the knowledge that it is futile to ask for such things or the gratefulness that I no longer ask for such things.

In class today we talk about modes of exposition. My students report about love using different modes. Group one uses cause and effect. The title of their piece is "Love Really? What Effect Do it Have?" I am angered by the slip in subject-verb agreement. The rest of the essay is sullied by this mistake. I tell them their title is a metaphor for the ineffectiveness of their work. Group two uses classification and division. There is love for self, love for family and love for God. Jeesh...

I spend 30 minutes lecturing on the importance of development. How it can be used to twist an old topic. How, as a device, it allows the rader to see more. A student bravely asks me, "Ma'm, how do we know which mode of development to use?" The shadow in me wishes to answer, "Because if you're smart, you just know!" I find myself using my love story to answer this question.

"In the beginning my husband used definition to win me over. He said, 'This is not love, just a compelling need to be with you.' Later on he used comparison and contrast to explore this feeling. 'It's not the same feeling as my feeling for Maria when I was in high school.' The he used cause and effect with great impact. 'When I am not with you I cannot concentrate. But when I am with you all the more I cannot concentrate.'"

And finally, the piece de resistance! He used exposition with a dash of exaggeration! "Be my girlfriend or I shall die." The lecture ends with thunderous applause! Now we understand.

I walk back to my office with a stupid half-smile. Maybe romance lies in remembering. I take comfort in that and am even satisfied to be romanced by memory. The sea of students switching buildings is mesmerizing. I stand still and enjoy the invisible air moving around me. I allow myself a moment of reverence - for what, I do not know. Far away, I see a familiar figure but it is hazy as students cross my vision. It moves closer to me and I see it is my husband. There is both recognition and surpirse. He walks towards me with a bouquet in his hands. The crowd disappears just like in the movies.

"Nine sunflowers for my sun." The silence breaks as I hear the roar of my love.

Top 20 Unfortunate Lessons Girls Learn From Twilight

I've never seen the movie nor read the books nor have I any plans of seeing or reading them anytime soon.. But given its huge popularity, I know everything I need to know about the Saga, more than I need to know, in fact.

The point is, I found this here and it's really funny:

1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you — and you are the point of his existence.
2. Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.
3. It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he hasgreat abs.
4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.
5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling you he will never see you again), it is because he loves you so much he will suffer just to keep you safe.
6. When a boy leaves you, going into shock, losing all your friends and enduring night terrors are completely acceptable occurrences — as long as you keep your grades up.
7. It is extremely romantic to put yourself in dangerous situations in order to see your ex-boyfriend again. It’s even more romantic to remember the sound of his voice when he yelled at you.
8. Boys who leave you always come back.
9. Because they come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.
10. Even though you have no intention of dating an alternative male who expresses interest in you, it is fine to string the young man along for months. Also, you should use him to fix things for you. Maybe he’ll even buy you something.
11. You should use said male to fix things because girls are incapable of anything mechanical or technical.
12. Lying to your parents is fine. Lying to your parents while you run away to save your suicidal boyfriend is an extremely good idea that shows your strength and maturity. Also, it is what you must do.
13. Car theft in the service of love is acceptable.
14. If the boy you are in love with causes you (even indirectly) to be so badly beaten you end up in the hospital, you should tell the doctors and your family that you “fell down the steps” because you are such a silly, clumsy girl. That false explanation always works well for abused women.
15. Men can be changed for the better if you sacrifice everything you are and devote yourself to their need for change.
16. Young women should make no effort to improve their social skills or emotional state. Instead, they should seek out potential mates that share their morose deficiencies and emotional illnesses.
17. Girls shouldn’t always read a book series just because everyone else has.
18. When writing a book series, it’s acceptable to lift seminal source material and bastardize it with tired, overwrought teenage angst.
19. When making or watching a major feature film, you should gleefully embrace the 20 minutes of plot it provides in between extended segments of vacant-eyed silence and self-indulgent, moaning banter.
20. Vampires — once among the great villains of literature and motion pictures — are no longer scary. In fact, they’re every bit as whiny, self-absorbed and impotent as any human being.

knocked out in UP

So after my birthday visit with the kids in Redeemer's Home, we had some lunch and then I got k.o'd at the U.P. sunken garden.

I don't know. I guess I'm too old for the kids. Hehe. What with all the running around. After lunch, we went straight to U.P. to pick some review materials we had photocopied at the ever-reliable shopping center. Then I fell asleep while hangin' at the sunken garde.

A few minutes before zonking out, I was able to take some pictures around. What I love most about UP are the trees! They look so old, powerful and wise. Geek alert - they remind me of the giant, talking trees in the Lord of the Rings. They're even more beautiful against the setting sun.

On weekend afteernoons, the U.P. is just scenic, bathed in yellow light, surrounded by a cool breeze and filled with families and friends playing football, frisbee, eating fishball and kwek-kwek. Everything just seems so peaceful and idyllic.

It's also a great place for dating couples, apparently.

Here's Jayps making faces, right before I fell asleep. Which would perfectly explain the nightmares that followed. Hehe, kiddin'

Then I had dinner at Sweet Inspirations inKatipunan and ate ourselves to death with their eat-all-you-can mongolian! Yum yum. What a great prelude to Christmas!

Birthday at Redeemer's Home

I must be getting really old because I've reached an age where I'm not very fond of big parties and noisy crowds anymore. So for the past 2 years I've been spending my birthdays with kids from Redeemer's Home. Redeemer's Home provides shelter and care for abandoned kids and infants. I've been visiting the kids since college and unfortunately some of the kids then are still there.

David is turning 12 and Patrick is 8. I talked to Kuya Bernard, the one in-charge of the place and the person whom the kids call "daddy", and found out that not very many people are looking to adopt kids who are as old as David as Patrick. I guess would-be parents want to avoid the complication of the kid knowing that he's adopted. There are also infants in Redeemer's and they get adopted more quickly.

Here's David.He's gotten so big!

Patrick!

If people only knew what great kids Patrick, David and the rest are. Haaay. I also like visiting Redeemer's because they're not as popular as other institutions like C.R.I.B.S in Marikina, thus they get less volunteers to play and bond the kids. And so I try to visit them as often as I can and I especially reserve my birthdays for them. They remind me of the kind of person I truly want to be.

Together with Ana, her boyfriend Leo and my other friend Jaypee we brought the kids Chicken Joy and Spaghetti from Jollibee. Ana brought books and we did a lot of running around, laughing and reading.

We didn't eat much before going to Redeemer's so you can just imagine our hunger at watching the kids enjoy spaghetti and chicken. I love pastas but I especially love Jollibee's.

The kids really know how to strike a pose. That my girl, Victoria!

And Patrick again. I don't mean to play favorites but I do feel a special affection for Patrick. For one he looks like Calvin! Second, he reminds me of me. Quiet and stubborn.

Here are some more shots of the kids!

That's Jonathan, I think.

Here's Jaypee with Jacob! Thank you Jaypee for finding time in your busy schedule to meet the kids.

Here are the kids reading some picture books Ana bought them. But man, that Virgilio Almario book was, uhm, weird. So we didn't have time to read the books beforehand, we had to read them first time with the kids. So we had no idea what was coming. There was this story: Once there was a god who fell in love with a mortal. So he went to her and stalked her in her dreams. Then they really got together and got married. But the mortal woman's sister were jealous of her for marrying a god. So she started to despise him. To save their relationship the god and the mortal left for heaven. The way to heaven is dangerous for mortals and true enough while crossing a rainbow bridge, the women fell to a pit of fire. And she died. And the god never loved anyone ever again. The end.

Imagine my face when we got to the ending.

Here's Ana mocking me.

Ana practicing her mom skills.

And here's Leo practicing his daddy skills!

I wouldn't have spent my birthday any other way.

If I had the money, I would adopt any of these kids, especially David and Patrick since they're the oldest of the bunch and have the least chances of getting adopted. But Kuya Bernard tells me that adoption procedures in the Philippines are more complicated than that. You go to DSWD, give them the kind of kid you're looking for and they choose for you. They choose from any institution any kid that matches your description of what you're looking for. Which means, if I do decide to adopt, I'm not gonna be able to choose David and Patrick. I get why the system's like that. Just sucks. Someday.

If you wish to help the kids of Redeemer's Home please text me at 09209267759!

Merry Christmas everyone!